holy shit..

i know its a friends job to care.. but do i look flippin suicidal to you people? my god.. i put on my happy face and everything.. i dont need the constant phone calls with not even a hi.. just straight to are you ok.. and IF ONE MORE PERSON ASKS ME IF IM OK! MY GOD I AM GONNA KILL THEM!!
yea i know april is going to be hard.. but im dealing.. and im doing a great job at it. well at least i think so.. yes im not talkin about it.. cause i dont have anyone i trust to talk to about it.. its nothing personal so dont take it that way.. i just know who i can trust and who i am comfortable being 100% honest with. and when i get a chance to talk to them and they want to hear ill tell them.. but until then im sorry.. my life isnt a weekly published series for you people..

"hold me tight baby hold me tight.. i dont know .. i dont know what hes after.. but hes so beautiful.. hes such a beautiful disaster. and if i could hold on through the tears and the laughter.. lord would it be beaitful.. just a beautiful disaster im longing for love thats logical but hes only happy hysterical im searching for some kind of miracle. ive waited so long. hes soft to the touch. but frayed at the ends he breaks hes never enough. and still theres more then i can take "