one more tear running down your face.. doesnt mean that much to the world..

slash the tires on my car..

There are things that used to make me smile
One of them was you for just a little while
You left me for dead so far away
I replaced you with fear and shame
You'll be happy on the day I die



There are things that used to make me laugh
But now they're deeply buried in the past
I left them there so far away
Replaced my humor with my pain
I'll be happy on the day it dies

Remember when I said I love you
Well, forget it I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said

There are things that used to make you cry
One of them was me for just a little while
Why is it that you had to say
Goodbye in your special way
You slashed the tires on my car

Remember when I said I love you
Well, forget it I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said

Remember when I said I love you
Well, go ahead I take it back
I was just a stupid kid back then
I take back every word that I said

don't call me daughter.. not fit to..

me and my nic

wow when i try to avoid everyone elses drama i get my own..

well i havent seen him since he lived with me.. and come to find out.. the reason he got up one day and left her was because he wanted me and realized he was using her.. and the thing is i wanted to be with him.. but i never said anything.. i couldnt.. he was with her.. but.. when everything started to fall down.. he left.. i only tried callin him once to talk to him.. and ask him anything to tell me that him and i were ok.. anything..i know that sounds selfish he just broke up with my best friend and all i could think of was I HAD TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE.. and he got on the phone and said im at work and hung up so i never tried again.. and turns out.. he liked me and thought i hated him.. and i liked him and thought he hated me. and every time we found each other one of us was with someone... so not its him.. hes got a girl.. who hates me.. obviously.. girlfriends always hate me.. damnit.. he told me his best memory of living with us was laying on my bedroom floor with me watching tv.. its liek every time i get him back in my life theres an obstical.. damnit.. if his girl finds out we have been texting each other back and forth.. we are screwed.. why do i get into this shit.. life should be simple.. ive never kissed him.. never touched him.. nothing.. and i doubt i ever will

to hear you voice..

even if it was just to tell me goodbye
would be worth it..
cause when your not around
i miss you but you dont miss me
i think about you and you dont think about me
you tell me you do..
but i know its just another lie
im getting use to your lies now..
why do you say your sorry..
because you know i cry???
do you think it helps..
i love you
but i cant...

lies on the rocks with a twist of desperation...
fucked up how the world works huh???

i dont get it..

it was so long ago.. years.. but I answer the phone and end up missing you.. i dug your picture out.. and now i think of you...

they crash around me..

my christopher

he will do just about anything to make me smile..

thank god im blessed with a mind that will wreck it..

chris called me today..
me:hey honey
chris:you know what i love about you.. your always so happy when i call
me:your crazy..
chris:how are you today??


he's sweet.. and he doesnt call and push all his problems on me.. we talk about stuff.. and he asks me how i am instead of instantly bitching about shit.. hes great..

so thursday.
im excited.. thursday..

sometimes i just want ..

1) someone to call me and ask me how i am.. not just call me to bitch about their problems.. i want to be there for you but im not your convience..
2) you to wrap your arms around me and tell me you love me
3) you to kiss me like you did before..
4) people to remember that i have a life to..
5) people to remember i am only one person.. who has feelings
6) you to remember how much you say i mean to you..
7) you to tell me i mean as much to you as you do to me..


maybe im over stepping it.. but i dont think its too much to ask for..

what it is mother fucker..

stab my back.. its better when i bleed for you..

i wanted you to know..

i know everytime you lie
everytime you say what you think i want to hear
when you tell me you love.. i want you to know i doubt it every time i hear it
you tell me one thing .. when i know you mean another..
and my heart breaks everytime...
i wanted you to know that..