wow when i try to avoid everyone elses drama i get my own..

well i havent seen him since he lived with me.. and come to find out.. the reason he got up one day and left her was because he wanted me and realized he was using her.. and the thing is i wanted to be with him.. but i never said anything.. i couldnt.. he was with her.. but.. when everything started to fall down.. he left.. i only tried callin him once to talk to him.. and ask him anything to tell me that him and i were ok.. anything..i know that sounds selfish he just broke up with my best friend and all i could think of was I HAD TO HAVE HIM IN MY LIFE.. and he got on the phone and said im at work and hung up so i never tried again.. and turns out.. he liked me and thought i hated him.. and i liked him and thought he hated me. and every time we found each other one of us was with someone... so not its him.. hes got a girl.. who hates me.. obviously.. girlfriends always hate me.. damnit.. he told me his best memory of living with us was laying on my bedroom floor with me watching tv.. its liek every time i get him back in my life theres an obstical.. damnit.. if his girl finds out we have been texting each other back and forth.. we are screwed.. why do i get into this shit.. life should be simple.. ive never kissed him.. never touched him.. nothing.. and i doubt i ever will