what ive been up to..

sunday nite... hung out with brittney, phillip, and this chick named ashley.. they were cool.. had never met phil or ash before but it was cool.. since phil and i were the only ones old enough to drink and both smoked we instantly hit it off.. hes really awesome.. well i think britt britt got pissed cause he and i were hanging out.. then monday britt phil and i were suppose to go out to dinner.. well he had to cancle because he was 3 hours late for work that morning and really needed to catch up on sleep and all those sorts of shits.. which i completely understand.. but again britt got mad because she called him and he didnt answer nor did he call her back.. (which i feel bad for her because i kinow how it feels.. it sucks.. ) but when i called he answered and we ended up making plans for later this week.. but anyways.. ryan called and i invited him to dinner with us.. and nodies was home so he got invited as well.. and britt britt ryan walker nodies and i hung out.. got some alcohol.. hung out had a great time.. swam.. talked.. smoked.. drank.. it was cool..
well ryan and i were outside having one of our famous.. in depth talks about randomness.. and he says to me "what did lisa say when we were leaving the house?" he just stares at me. like answer damnyou i really wanna know.. i explained to him how anytime ryan and i hang out lisa always wants to know if we are getting back together (she wants us back together so bad) and he said.. well what did you say.. did you say no.. i told him i tell her that same thing every time.. "i dont know if we will ever get back together" the look on his face got me.. he was like why is that.. i told him i didnt know.. and he told me.. (this is very confusing to me) "don't think im like tryin to keep you as a back up. but its like right now im young. i just turned 21. i am out having fun. and if i did have a girl i would be the worst boyfriend ever basically due to the fact that i get wrapped up in what im doing i feel like i push the girl away and am selfish with my time. dont take this the wrong way.. but your not the girl i wanna just be a selfish asshole with you. your eryn. you've always been there. you're the serious relationship i want, not the girl i just want to keep around so i have someone to fuck. we will get back together. just not right now." ok thats not EXACT word for word. but thats pretty much what was said.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm i dunno..